Crif Dogs

Congratulations, you made it through a passing of arbitrary time into a new year. Good for you. The only good thing about the new year is that it gives people an excuse to do new things. For me, it was an excuse to do something legendary. What is legendary, you ask? Oh, I don’t know, how about… visiting perhaps the most recommended and definitely most creative hot dog place in NYC… that I have been holding back on reviewing for ONE AND A HALF YEARS. Yes, I’ve been writing about weenies for one and a half years and have not yet seen a psychiatrist. That’s also legendary! Now, to mix in even more legendary, I visited this place with a guy from ENGLAND who STARTED HIS OWN HOT DOG CART and is SAVING THE WORLD, ONE HOT DOG AT A TIME by giving his profits to a charity that fights children’s hunger. That is literally the most legendary thing I have ever even been close to. Sorry for the caps, I’m very excited. 2017 is looking to be… absolutely legendary. Absolutely 2017. Pete, from Feed Hot Dog Co, and I went to Williamsburg and ate at CRIF DOGS. 2017!!! (Disclaimer: I ate these hot dogs in 2016, but was a little slothful when it came to writing this blog. Shhhh.)

img_0812

Oh mama. For those who don’t know, Crif is famous for their handmade, naturally smoked beef and pork dogs that are covered in a myriad of unique and interesting topping combinations. Pete and I, being the hot dog lovers we are, ordered 2 each. (Pete also ordered some cheesy tots because he’s an animal, and Kate ordered a boring kraut wiener. Hey, you’ve got to admit it’s cool that we found a girl that will eat any weenies with us at all.) Then, after realizing that there were so many amazing wieners on the table, we decided to cut them in half and “get involved”, as Pete says. Oh my Jiminy Cricket, did we get involved. Here’s the lineup:

img_0815

The Chili Dog: I love chili dogs. NY Weenians know this. This dog is simple: chili, onions, and mustard. It’s excellent. Eat it.

The Tsumani: It’s a B-b-b-ba-ba-BACON wrapped weenie. (Pardon my stutter.) On top of the wrap are teriyaki sauce, pineapples, and green onions. Its sweet n’ savory, and makes me want to crank Jimmy Buffet and wear Tommy Bahama. Basically my life goal at age 52.

img_0816

The Jon-Jon Deragon: cream cheese, scallions, and the same toppings you’d find on an everything bagel all on top of a bacon wrapped dog. Lord have mercy. I’ll admit, this dog is the reason why I love Crif Dogs. It’s an incredible invention. I’d equate the experience of eating this dog to the time I ate macaroni and cheese for the first time. Revolutionary and life-changing. I’ve got the bluuueees. (If you don’t get that reference, shame on you, go Youtube old Kraft ads after reading this.)

img_0819

The Chihuahua: another bacon wrapped dog, this time topped with avocados and sour cream. This one surprised me the most. Sour cream on a hot dog is out of this world delicious. Much like the Jon-Jon, it is a revolutionary discovery and anyone and everyone should try it ASAP. Tell your boss you have a doctor’s appointment and go get this dog now. The snappy crunch of the bacon, plus the smooth, salubrious love of the avocado… finished with none other than a dollop of Daisy!?!? Take me to church!

Overall notes and final review: Crif Dogs is a miraculous wonderful place. I absolutely love it and encourage everyone to go. I love it so much that I held back on reviewing it because I thought that it would be king. Alas, my friends, it is not king. The Cannibal is still king. I realized that while the topping selection is excellent and the handmade dogs are super tasty, Crif lacks three very important things that I hold near and dear to my heart: the snap, yellow mustard, and a toasted bun. It would simply be unfitting if I gave the title of king to a place without these essentials. I love you Crif Dogs… I don’t need any Purple Rain, because you’ll forever be my Prince.

4.25 weenies

Lastly, thank you Pete for coming to join me. You are an inspiration in that you can do great things for the world, yet simultaneously have a blast and do what you love. I wish the best for Feed Hot Dog Co’s future – readers please check them out on Instagram @feedhotdogco and at their website and Facebook: Feed Site Feed FBook. I hope I can make it out to England one day and enjoy another weenie with my newly acquired hot dog fam. It’s 2017, y’all.

Cheers

@nyweenies     NY Weenies Facebook

15676233_1791055711148705_6694889132825615296_o

 

 

Advertisement

Ben’s Kosher Deli

I am ferociously dedicated to hot dogs. My devotion to the weenie is undying. Just about 2 hours ago, I walked 20 minutes from work… to a deli I had no enthusiasm for… in 10 degree wind chilled temperatures… alone… simply to eat a hot dog, take pictures of it, and write about it. If I told that to a psychiatrist, I’d be in a straight jacket right now. In fact, I heard about this deli because I’m pretty sure a dude I never met before in an Uber pool told me about it. Thanks, guy. Regardless of the struggle and the insanity, I can honestly tell you all that this was indeed the highlight of my day and I’d like to tell you about it.

IMG_1891

Behold. The frank from Ben’s extremely commercial, Jewish, and Kosher (I guess that’s still Jewish) Deli. Now, you may remember that I wasn’t a fan of another big commercial touristy Jewish deli. (Katz’s Deli) So, I wasn’t incredibly enthused about Ben’s, especially since it is just south of Times Square on 38th and 7th. The place was a little bizarre, and definitely huge and commercial as I feared. However, when I told them I didn’t want to sit down and be waited on, and I only wanted a hot dog at the bar, they looked at me oddly, but were very accommodating. For $9.95 the hot dog comes with a drink, 3 different types of pickles, coleslaw, sauerkraut, and a huge knish. This is an epic deal, especially if you’re poor. A quick side note on the knish: I love this invention. Whichever lovely Jewish man with gorgeous curls invented it must have been a sweetheart.

Let’s get into the weenie details. The dog comes out with ‘kraut on the side and no toppings at all. They only have this odd spicy brown mustard that I’ve never seen, called Gold’s. It is no French’s yellow, but it is pretty good, and I’m a little surprised by it. I applied it with incredible precision, and even added kraut because I was feeling the whole NYC Jewish vibe. The bun is nicely toasted, but maybe a little on the light side, as in I couldn’t see any grill marks or bun browning. That’s a new one: “bun browning.” It sounds like something the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders do as a pre-game warm up routine.

IMG_1894

Anyway, the first bite is marvelous, because the snap in this weenie is next level. You can tell there’s some real intestine on the outside of this bad boy and its glorious. There is a strong, 100% beef flavor, that is the tell-tale sign of a high quality frankfurter. This is a pure hot dog. If you are a plain weenie person, I think this would be on the top of your list. One unfortunate thing that happened to me, however, happened over time. Towards the end of eating the hot dog, I got a little tired of the snap. It was as if there was too much casing, and I had to chew through the sausage. This goes to prove that too much of a good thing can be a bad thing. Moderation in life is key. I didn’t think it could happen with the snap, but it did. I would definitely recommend this weenie, though. “One flaw a mistake does not make,” Yoda once said.

3.5 weenies

Is eating a hot dog alone at the bar of a huge time square deli sad? Am I a pathetic human being? To the haters I say nay. I say, in the words of Kelly Clarkson, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Unfortunately, eating a ton of hot dogs my eventually kill me. Eh. YOLO.

Cheers

FOLLOW – Instagram     LIKE – Facebook     FollowMAP – BobbyPin