It’s 7:56 PM and I haven’t had dinner yet. I’m fresh off of a bar crawl, getting off the subway to meander to my friend’s apartment. There, on the horizon, shines bright like a diamond, a beacon of hope. For 4 dollars I could devour 2 of my favorite things in the world and be completely full, recharged, and ready for the night. Of course I stop in. In my opinion, you have to be outside of your mind to not stop in. Look at the picture above. It is a paradise of culinary delicacies that one could only hope for in heaven. The best part about this paradise is it won’t cost you any money! This place is literally helping society by providing low cost health plans to the general public. I don’t care how much money you make, you can afford Papaya Dog. Bernie Sanders loves this place.
Political jokes aside, look at those bad boys. I don’t know about the readers, but I’ll take that image over the SI Swimsuit cover any day. I mean, let’s be honest, Ronda Rousey and the Dove bar soap girl make up two thirds of the covers now. Regardless of your preference, I ordered a nacho cheese and a chili dog. The “nacho” cheese was exactly what I was looking for: melted Kraft singles. The chili, however, had the most appeal, because unlike many other types of hot dog chili, this one had beans. Loads of beans. Let’s take a step back and really take a good look at the bean, or the legume, if you will. It is one of the healthiest, tastiest, most abundant sources of nutrition on the planet. There are many types of beans, all of which peacefully coexist. Kidney beans, pinto beans, black beans, navy beans, and even lima beans, all offer a different flavor and appearance to those lucky enough to consume. In a way, beans are the humans of the earth. This is why we should love them. Any way, I was excited about that bean loaded chili.
The bun is nicely toasted, and the wieners came out quickly. The wieners were hot, and with nowhere to sit I wasted little time diving in. Much like the other rival papaya hot dog joints in the city, the sausage itself is relatively thin, but flavorful. The difference here is the consistency. I felt a little bit like I was eating a slim jim. Now, before that sounds terrible, I love slim jims, obviously, because I love all things cheap and loaded with preservatives. However, it is a negative observation in this case because when compared to the other papaya joints I’ve reviewed (Papaya King and Gray’s Papaya), the sausage just doesn’t compare. The King of the Papaya’s is still the aptly named Papaya King on the Upper East side. But, I will never speak poorly of a place that offers decent cheap dogs at all hours of the day. I have been to Papaya Dog many times before, and I will go again.
Now, because this is a NY Weenies @ Night edition, I have to tell a story. After I ate the two dogs, I was still hungry because I always seem to be hungry and I had been consuming adult beverages earlier in the day. My friend told me he would buy me a corn dog if, as I ate it, I asked the next person I saw a question. This question had to be, “would you like to taste my wiener?” So, I’d like to apologize to the person on the street I embarrassed that day. Just take solace in the fact that I slathered that corn dog in French’s yellow mustard and downright cherished it. Thank you, stranger.