Boat Basin Cafe

Up on the Upper West Side there’s this odd little sinkhole close to the water where twenty-somethings like to drink. If you live on the UWS and have any semblance of fun in the daytime when its nice out, you’ve been here. If you don’t live on the UWS but have a friend who lives on the UWS and you have any semblance of fun in the daytime when its nice out, you’ve been here. Furthermore, if you don’t have any friends at all, no connection to the UWS, prefer Beyonce over Rihanna, but have some semblance of fun when its nice out, you’ve still probably been here. Its called the Boat Basin. They serve buckets of Corona, Narragansetts, and most importantly: hot dogs. Y’all know I’m down to descend to spots of lower elevation for a good weenie.

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Bring on the mudslide of chili. Above sits the second “chili-est” dog I’ve ever eaten. The first was a lovely weenie eaten atop the marble bar top of Old Town Bar. Science doesn’t allow for much for chili than that. George A. Hormel himself would be overwhelmed with the amount of chili on this hot dog. I, however, am a tremendous proponent of chili dogs, so my mouth salivated the second this thing was in sight. In fact, I saw a guy next to me order two of them before I knew the restaurant even served hot dogs. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to order two because this was my 4th meal of the day at my 4th restaurant, so I let off on the gluttony gas pedal a bit.

Now, to elaborate on the dog itself. The bun was a bun, that’s about it. The sausage had a smoky flavor, which I think in part was due to the chili. There was very little snap but I could tell the weenie was of good quality, so I was pleased. I ordered mustard on it, but I couldn’t taste it because I was focusing so much on the best part of this weenie: the chili. It had two types of beans!!! Pintos and kindeys floating around in the same primordial soup is something I dreamed about as a child and drew pictures of in art class. It wasn’t too runny, or too spicy, but it was spicy enough. Once cheese was added to the top it was heaven. I wish there was a bowl on the side so that I could dip any part of the hot dog that was uncovered into it. Stellar.

3.75 weenies

P.S. The pickle was dope, too.

Cheers

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Danish Dogs

I saw a list today that named Denmark the happiest country in the world. I think it is no coincidence that the happiest country in the world also happens to serve the most hot dogs per capita of any country in the world. Both are true facts, and both make me want to be a Dane. I could be a Great Dane, which is also the biggest dog in the world. We’re talkin’ about extremes here, people. What else is extreme? $8 hot dogs in Grand Central Terminal are pretty “doggone” extreme. Without a doubt, I will use my extremities to grab a few of these extremely unique extreme danish dogs and have myself a Tuesday. Claus Meyer opened this place opened up two weeks ago, and thanks to some great scouting by staff member Mike, we’re off to the races and puttin’ beets on wieners.

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Pictured above are 4 very unique sausages. I’m reminded of the Copenhagen guys who once gave me weenies for free – Copenhagen Street Dog Winter Championship. In fact, these are so unique, that one is chicken, one pork, one beef, and one beef/pork combo. I went for the two on the right, which happened to be beef/pork and beef. As you can tell, I’m a fan of the cow. I am probably not as big of a fan as the Hindu folks though, because I’ll actually eat it, but you know what I mean. I first was able to experience the dog on the farthest right, named the Gravhund. Gravhund is the danish word for Dachsund, the canine we in America usually call the wiener dog. I’m loving the naming system already. This dog is topped with Beet Remoulade, Lingonberry preserve, pickled onions, and crispy shallots (elegant onions). Yes, this sounds like the menu at your grandmother’s old folks home, but it tastes much better. I was instantly wowed by the sweetness combined with the crispy shallots (elegant onions). This is the most unique dog I’ve ever had, and it was amazing. The bun could have been a little more toasted, but the toppings were great and the sausage homemade with some snap. Très bon.

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The next dog was the Great Dane, the dog I was told would be the best. I must say I was disappointed. The mustard was so spicy that I couldn’t taste anything else and there was no need for ketchup. I liked the pickles and onions, but the mustard was too overpowering. The dog itself was also sort of gooey, and not as good as the Gravhund all-beef sausage. Something wasn’t quite working with it, as there was no snap and it seemed like I was eating the meat out of the intestine like play-doh. Sorry for that image. The bun, again, was underwhelming, dry, and not toasted enough. This is probably my biggest complaint with Danish Dogs. You need new buns. My anaconda don’t want none unless you got buns, hun.

The Gravhund saved the day for Danish Dogs, and kept it at a pretty good rating. It is an amazing wiener that you should go try, but I think Danish Dogs still needs a little work if they want people to pay eight bucks for a dog.

3.5 weenies

P.S. I’m pretty sure you could buy a real dog for 8 bucks from, like, the SPCA or something. For the record, I don’t condone eating real dogs. That’s something that should only exist deep in the annals of history. Do people look at pictures of cute baby cows? No, that’s why we eat them. Save the puppies. Kill the cows.

Cheers

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