Somebody had to do it. Many citizens of New York see hot dog carts as a Zika rash on the skin of Manhattan. I see them much differently. I see leopard spots, snow within a snow globe, Marisa Miller’s freckles, and Mikhail Gorbachev’s bald-headed birthmark all rolled into one. I see hard working Americans trying to make a dollar and in doing so making other hard working Americans happier. That’s what life is all about, folks. So get out there and support your local hot dog cart. I sure do.
You ain’t nothin’ but a cart dog. That’s what Elvis said in his “Deeper Cuts” album never released to the public. See above a plain and simple cart dog done with class. When you order a dog from the cart, you don’t want to complicate it. Mustard is all you need. Unfortunately, most carts are spicy brown only. Once you can get over this fact, you’re in the clear and will need only to fork over three dollars.
The way I will review the hot dog carts of NYC is fairly simple. Obviously, there is almost no humanly possible way to get to every cart in Manhattan. They are constantly moving, changing ownership, and changing employees. Any normal human would be driven insane. This is why I will go to every cart that serves a different type of hot dog or is run by a different company. I this particular instance, the weenie was a Sabrett – “The Frankfurter New Yorkers Relish.” 0.5 points just for that slogan.
This particular dog did not have a toasted bun, nor was the sausage grilled. Yes, this was a classic “dirty water dog”. This means that they boiled the wiener. Of course, a grilled wiener is much more desirable than a boiled wiener. It only makes sense. Then, my server man was very liberal with the mustard, which I will never complain about, until it gets on my jacket. It got on my jacket, ladies and gentleman. I’ll have a stain there for years. People will make fun of me because of the attendant of this hot dog cart. That’s not a good look. I tried to lick it off of my jacket, but that’s a far worse look. Don’t lick your jacket.
Yes, I may have given this more weenies than most would have predicted given my comments above. However, please note, I will always support the fact that I can grab a hot dog on the side of the street at any time of the day or night with three measly dollars. Most ATM fees in New York are three dollars. If you give a homeless man on the street three dollars, he will think you’re being stingy. Three dollars is laughable. Three dollars, however, could also be the highlight of your day in the form of a magnificent, golden painted hot dog from a NYC hot dog cart. Thank you, NYC cart vendors, thank you.
P.S. I have business cards now thanks to Mike. How sweet is that?! 2 legit 2 quit. Follow the Instagram and send suggestions to firstname.lastname@example.org.