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Ditch Plains

Posted on October 26, 2015 by nyweenies

At one point in our lives we were all children. At that same point in our lives we all loved Macaroni and Cheese. Well, I am still at that point in my life, and let me tell you… I’ve got the blues. Kraft Mac-a-roni and Cheeeese. I love Mac n’ Cheese! If you don’t, I question your existence as a human being. The only excuse you may have is lactose intolerance. Even then, fight through and attack the mac. Squeeze the cheese. Put your nose in the elbows. Feel the steam from the cream. Be daft with the Kraft. Eat yo’ Mac n’ Cheese, y’all. It’s pretty simple. Even better, put it on a hot dog. Luckily, the folks at Ditch Plains accomplished just that.

Yes, that is real. The Ditch Dog at Ditch Plains. This is a great spot. Located in the West Village, it has a very chill vibe, plenty of good beers on tap, and some great menu options that are pretty affordable. They also have a nice selection of hot dogs, which is obviously what I got excited about. Without much hesitation, the bartender referred me to the Ditch Dog because that is what “put them on the map.” This dude was right on the money. When it came out to the bar, the image in front of me was something that could rival a Picasso. However, I must warn, if for any reason you don’t like Mac n’ Cheese (as previously stated you would be a moron if this was true), steer clear of this dog. Also, if the frank were plain, I’m not sure how great it would have been. The hot dog itself is a little scrawny and without snap. That is my only criticism. The mac is so creamy and delicious, and almost everything you taste in every bite is the Mac. It’s honestly just a very creative way to serve Macaroni and Cheese, and I’m completely OK with that. Two great things should be paired with each other to make even greater things. It’s a fact of life. For example: Sonny and Cher, Penn and Teller, Shaq and Kobe, or even reading the newspaper and sitting on the toilet. Why have one when you can have both? Mac n’ Cheese and hot dogs.

Go eat it now. I had to leave another picture to remind you. It’s just too good to leave out. I highly recommend this dog, and was close to giving it the highest rating so far, but I think I was getting emotional or something. I was thinking about Matilda, and my childhood, and the happiness that came with it. Must. Use. Logic. Epic weenie.

4 weenies.

P.S. My thoughts about this recent “meat causes cancer” crap: what doesn’t cause cancer?! Phones, cardboard, satellites, carcinogens, plastic, air, deodorant, and now processed meat?! Give me a break. Apparently processed meat increases your chance of getting cancer by 17%. Most illogical, media guzzling Americans see that number and assume their chance of getting cancer is immediately 17% after they eat one piece of beef. Knock, knock, pudding heads, that 17% means that the 3 or 4 percent chance you already had of getting cancer is now 3.2 or 4.2 percent. Not a big deal. Eat your meat. Science is OK with it. I promise. If you’re going to get cancer it is probably from something else, such as living in this already cancer-prone world. Carcinogens might cause cancer too, a recent study suggested. Long live the meats.

P.P.S. “Load the grill with fatty meats. Put ’em on a bun, and eat eat eat.” – Sinbad

Cheers

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Deli & Dogz

Posted on October 19, 2015 by nyweenies

Any real New Yorker knows that Midtown isn’t a very desirable place. You have to merge into the flow of humans like you’re on I-95, there’s homeless people at every corner, euro tourists with strange fashion sense, American tourists with even stranger fashion sense, etc. etc. There certainly aren’t many great restaurants in Midtown, but since there is such high demand for a quick lunch, there are a lot of decent cheap eats. One of my favorite types of cheap eats are the quintessential food trucks. Fridays on 46th street bring in at least 5 food trucks, one of which serendipitously served hot dogs. So, I left the office with the Stable crew, put my blinker on, merged on to fifth avenue, passed a gallery of talented Asian tourist photographers, and found my way to the first food truck I’ve ever reviewed.

What is that? What is that green stuff on the weenie? Ladies and Gentleman, let me introduce you to relish. I can’t believe this is my 13th post and this is the first time I’ve had relish on a hot dog. Relish is one of the best condiments to ever be placed on a dog. It’s the only condiment for which the following sentence is gramatically correct: I have a relish for relish. It’s a classic that I fear may be fizzling out. Kind of like pogo sticks – what happened to those?! They’re amazing, just like relish. Sweet, yet tangy, juicy, yet smooth, relish is a wonderful compliment to mustard. Relish. Say yes to the dress…ing.

Now for the sausage itself. This was a fat boy. I’m reminded of Big Nick’s, which I recently reviewed, but this one is juicier. It is literally too big for the bun. That bun can’t feel good about itself. I am willing to look past this obviously unhealthy relationship and just think about taste. The dog itself has a kind of unique smoky flavor that I definitely liked, but it was almost too meaty. There was no snap, and it didnt seem too fresh. The bun was pretty good, but not great. It reminds me of that friend you have that you only invite to big events, but you never really just hang out. He or she doesn’t leave a lasting impression, but you say “oh, it was good to see _______”. They get picked somewhere in the middle in backyard football. For 3 dollars this was also a bargain. You would be straight silly to not spend three George Washingtons for this hot dog.

I also was able to eat my first knish from this place. I know it’s off topic, but those things are pretty awesome. They are just a fat fried Jewish hunk of potatoes. (No, I’m not talking about Eli…) Anyway, the staff at the food truck were great and they definitely specialize in pastrami, which we were allowed to taste, which was very good. Overall, I enjoyed the hot dog and was happy to see that relish was a featured condiment. This to me was like seeing Eddie Murphy being funny again. I was elated. I would definitely return. Thanks Deli and Dogz.

3 weenies.

My favorite moment of this lunch was when I looked down at the last bite of my hot dog and it was sitting vertically, with a small piece of bun and relish sticking off the side of the sausage. I couldn’t help but think that it looked a lot like Donald Duck. I’ll leave you with that.

Cheers

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Big Nick’s Burger Joint and Pizza Joint Too

Posted on October 12, 2015 by nyweenies

The unexpected is never expected. Some of life’s best, worst, and certainly most impactful moments are unexpected. Unexpected can be happy, or it can be sad, but at the end of the day without unexpected moments life would be boring and crappy. This would mean no lottery winners, no news, no pearl harbor, no Lenny Kravitz ding-a-lings, no Janet Jackson nipple rings, and worst of all, no impromptu hot dog reviews. A google search of “where to eat hot dogs on the upper west side” took us to “Big Nick’s Burger Joint and Pizza Joint Too”, featuring “Giant Hot Dogs.” “Let’s go”, I declared.

Oh Big Nick, what big weenies you have! Look at all of those giant hot dogs. Walking into this place nobody in their right mind would imagine they would have a hot dog selection on their menu such as this. You can even make it deluxe, like it is some sort of a cheeseburger. I asked what their best dog was, as per usual, and the response was, “with cheese.” Obviously adding chili is never a bad option, so the cheese and chili melt was the obvious choice for this old boy. The environment here was very old school, local, and rooted in tradition. This would be a great late night stop in for a college student, but also a perfect early lunch spot for a retiree. There is nothing impressive, but I feel at home. Remember Grandma’s house growing up? It was kind of old, run down, and filled with a bunch of unnecessary things, but you liked it because Grandma cooked for you and let you stay up late? This is how I felt at Big Nick’s.

There is the dog itself. The Giant Hot Dog Melt. This is certainly a fat boy. At first glance, it reminds me of the quarter pound big bit at 7-11. A classic growing up for me, I began to feel even more at home. Unfortunately I didn’t see any French’s yellow mustard around, so I chose not to apply any mustard at all and eat as is. This is rare, but I felt it acceptable to allow the cheese to do some talking. Speak up, cheese! I’d like to take a moment and really let the cheese on this dog sink in – melt in your mind. Look at it. The cheese on this dog is a Kraft single. What?! At first, I though this was one of the most poor displays of culinary artistry I had ever seen. But no, the unexpected is never expected. The slice of cheese underneath the dog was the best part of the whole thing. I highly recommend it. It makes sense for Big Nick’s, too. They are a burger place first. Why not take some of the burger cheese and slap it on a dog? Epic creativity.

Now, I can’t make them sound too great because the dog itself was kind of dry, especially for being so fat, and the bun wasn’t hot, but was still somehow toasted. Furthermore, I got it deluxe simply because it sounded interesting, and the dog came with a big leaf of lettuce and two tomatoes on the side, like I was a rabbit. It made no sense. Stop it Big Nick. Don’t do that again. The chili wasn’t the best either, it lacked any sort of spice and started to look fecal after sitting in the open air for a few minutes. My personal goal in life is to avoid looking fecal at all costs.

3 weenies.

The Kraft single underneath the hot dog was revolutionary, creative, and downright titillating. However, it wasn’t a complete package. It’s a pretty decent spot overall, but if you don’t make it there, it would be expected.

Cheers

P.S. Is this a good new name? “Big Nick’s Burger Joint and Pizza Joint and Hot Dog Joint Also.” I’d consider it. Give the people what they want.

P.P.S. I have a map now! Check out where I’ve eaten all my weenies geography style: Map on BobbyPin

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Katz’s Delicatessen

Posted on October 5, 2015 by nyweenies

“Oh. Oh, God. Ohhhh. Oh, yes. Yes. Ohhhhhhhh… yes. God, oh, yes, yes. OHHHH God. OHHHH YES. YES. YES. YES. OH YES! OH GOD YES!” – Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally. That happened in Katz’s Deli! Sorry if my words didn’t exactly match the scene, but if you have any knowledge at all of old movies, you know that scene. The only unfortunate part about it is that she wasn’t talking about her hot dog. Well, I was about to find out if a man like me could have a reaction like that to a hot dog in one of the most famous eateries in New York. By the way, I’ve never been a big Billy Crystal fan. Dat Meg Ryan, doe…

Such a scene. I took the above picture at 8 PM on Sunday. It was jam-packed… and they think they’re so cool because of it. What follows are random sentences to describe the “fame” of this place. Every picture on the wall is of a celebrity that has been there. When you enter the restaurant, you get a ticket. On that ticket is a price that gets written by hand by the servers behind multiple counters. You pay when you are done. There are a lot of neon signs, and half of them don’t work. You are surrounded by tourists. A guy at the door greets you and tries to put on a show. He asks if you’ve been there before and if you know how to order at Katz’s. He told me I looked like a stranger. He even commented on my shirt. HIs shirt was bland and crappy. I will only tolerate such behaviour (feeling British today) for a truly incredible dining experience. How was this experience? Meh. The Gus Frerotte of hot dogs.

I spend a lot of time writing about the restaurant itself instead of the hot dog, because, well, there’s not much to say here. I feel that the best way to review this hot dog is in a stream of conscience form: … Sauerkraut? Nahh, come on, man. OK. Damn them, its not even good ‘kraut. No yellow mustard? Kinda overcooked. Not bad? Bun, eh, kind of like the buns you buy at any store… ever. Frankfurter sign? Dope, I’d hang that in my room… hmmm kind of wrinkly. No snap. A little dry. Flavor is OK. Meh… Meg Ryan? Nice. OK time to leave.

Essentially it was a pretty average hot dog. On the positive side, it was cheap and served very quickly. So, if you’re craving one late night in the East Village by all means go. However, if I were you I probably would steer clear of this place for a hot dog. Maybe they can do sandwiches, but I really didn’t like being told what to do by the dude at the front who “could tell that I hadn’t been there before.” Give me a break, man, I know for a fact that I know my way around weenies better than you.

1.5 weenies.

This has been maybe the most disappointing review yet. This place was supposed to be one of the best according to some websites out there. That’s what sets me apart from the rest. I actually go to the place, and bring you the truth. I’m a modern day Nellie Bly. Joey Pulitzer. Sanjay Gupta. I don’t know, but I’m doin’ it for the people. The weenie fans out there – you guys deserve it. One love.

Cheers

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P.S. Katz’s, your sign game is poor. If you were an animal you’d be a camel. Everyone loves you until they actually meet you, realize you stink, there’s a big gross hump on your back. Also, you look dumb. Yeah.

The Cannibal

Posted on September 28, 2015 by nyweenies

Very often these posts will center around something perhaps more interesting than a hot dog. I’ll find a theme or some sort of joke to center the post around. At The Cannibal in the Gotham West Market in Hell’s Kitchen, there is no need for a theme or a joke. Let’s do an experiment. I am going to suggest an action. After performing the suggested action, describe your emotions, privately. It’s therapeutic. Here’s your action: scroll up a bit on the page, look at that picture again, then scroll back to me. What?! How insane is that?! My mouth is watering, my stomach grumbling, and my pupils are dilated into the shape of hearts. Like that emoji guys try to use to be romantic. That picture is just downright pretty. This post needs only words of praise, centered only around the hot dogs. Jokes? Where we’re going, we don’t need jokes.

This place has a fleet of hot dogs all with epic names. I felt like they were all part of an Italian mob. The guy in the middle? Oh, that’s Jimmy the Tulip. He’s the tough guy of the bunch. Super meaty because he’s dressed in pork rinds. But, he’s the negotiator of the crew because he’s also covered in Kale and a special sauce. He’s a total flip-flopper, and would be a great politician. The guy on the right? That’s Captain Sharp. He’s got style. Always polished and matching in the highest fashion, he’s got 3 different kinds of mustard on top with coleslaw. What a pretty boy. Then there’s that lanky guy on the left – the Cannibal Dog, we call him. This dude is nuts. When he dresses up like this, they call it “Tiger Style”, with spicy chili, Chinese mustard, and scallions (aka elegant onions). He can snap at any minute, and he does for however many bites it takes you to eat him. Lovable and loyal, he’s also wild and unpredictable. He’s my personal favorite. OK, so I did a little bit of a theme thing. Whatever, it was fun. Read it with a Tony Montana accent, you’ll thank me.

Each of the two dogs I ate (I didn’t eat Jimmy the Tulip – KK was all over him – I couldn’t split them up) was phenomenal. Let’s get into the details. Captain Sharp was a white sausage. Popular in Rochester, “white hots”, are uncured and unsmoked and usually contain some veal. Nice and meaty, they also offer a kind of rich flavor that is quite enjoyable and makes you feel fancy. Then, and this is a huge positive for The Cannibal, it was topped with Yellow Mustard. That’s right, the good stuff, classic French’s yellow mustard – the best in the world. They then added whole grain spicy brown. As a big mustard fan, I was pretty damn happy. Great sausage, great toppings, great bun. The only negative piece was there may have been too much mustard. I couldn’t taste anything else. (Not really a bad thing for me, but for you ketchup n00bz out there consider it a warning.)

The Cannibal Dog! I can’t put into words how good this was. The chili was really spicy, but didn’t kill you. The Chinese mustard was also potent, but went along so perfectly with the chili and the elegant onions (aka scallions) it laid on top of so gingerly. The toppings were great, yes, but I think what really set this wiener apart from other, similarly trendy wieners, was the frank itself. (To be frank.) I’ve written before about the snap. This one had the perfect snap. The best snap I’ve ever been lucky to be a part of. Please understand how important this is: it had the snap. Then, just to put pile more epic passengers on the already epic train, our waiter kind of looked like Tom Morrello. I also had a raspberry ale that was delicious. It was open to the street, so we got some outside air. They even had the Jets game on a projector inside. Gotham Market is cool. The Cannibal is cooler. Trendy hot dogs, Yellow Mustard, chili, and the snap heard ’round the world. Come to the Cannibal as soon as you can.

4.5 weenies.

For the record, the Cannibal Dog is currently the best hot dog in New York City.

*mic drop*

Cheers

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Gray’s Papaya

Posted on September 21, 2015 by nyweenies

Hot Dogs at Night – A NY Weenies original. (Sung to the tune of Downtown by Petula Clark)

When you’re alone and life is making you lonely
You can always eat… hot dogs
It’s 3 AM, you are tipsy and hungry
Seems to help, I know… hot dogs

Just listen to the music of the traffic in the city
Linger on the sidewalk where the sausages look pretty
Gray’s doesn’t close?
Nothing else is open there
You can forget all your troubles, forget all your cares

So eat hot dogs
Things will be great with some hot dogs
Go with a friend for sure, hot dogs
A whole lot of wieners for yoooouuuuu!

I really enjoyed writing that song. I also really enjoyed reviewing this hot dog. This was my first “NY Weenies @ Night” review, because it was really late, after a night at the bar. I also ate 3 hot dogs. Good lord. Gray’s Papaya is another “papaya” joint, and is the upper west side rival of the upper east side, recently highly reviewed 4.5 weenie Papaya King. All of these places are similar. There is a lot of yellow, they also serve smoothies and fries, but really everybody goes there for the cheap, quick, and artfully simple weenies. They are also open 24 hours a day. Gray’s was founded in 1974 by a former partner of Papaya King, once had three bustling locations, now has one, and only has half of it’s sign lit. Obviously I am not bothered by this at all, because all that matters is the dog.

Very openly and humbly I approached the counter and asked the two gentleman for their best hot dog. After some hesitation and overcoming a language boundary, below is what they came up with.

What the hell is that?! The frank looks good, the bun looks good, but whatever they put on top of it is a tremendous mistake. Blasphemy! It’s some sort of onion, ketchup, sweet and sour sauce, urine combination that should never be on a hot dog. Bye Felicia. Very poor start. I guess that’s what you get from the late night staff. I could, however, tell that there was a quality weenie underneath that toxic sludge that they call a topping. (Of course I ate it anyway.) So, I approached the counter after receiving some advice from my personal hot dog adviser Mike and decided to take matters into my own hands. Per the rules, published in the Who Am I? page of this site, I got a classic with mustard. But, just like Papaya King, there is no yellow mustard. Come on, man. I understand this is a New York thing, and try to keep an open mind. I am very pleased with this one, but the bun could have been a little more toasty, and the dog a little bit thicker. It has the snap, and it is a good temperature, color, etc., but it seems a little small. When I place my index finger and thumb on either side of the bun, the frank disappears quicker than a frightened turtle. It must be better than this. Gray’s is legendary, there must be a better hot dog. So, I order a third weenie.

That’s the ticket. A little bit of chili goes a long way. This was the best of the three, and totally out of protocol, but you only live once as they say (YOLO), and I’m so glad I got this one. Chili, relish, and mustard. Like Bosh, Wade, and LeBron, the three combine to win championships. You can’t lose. Gray’s delivers a high quality hot dog for an incredibly affordable price, but it doesn’t quite match its upper east side rival.

4 weenies

In conclusion, if you want to lose your inhibitions and go to Gray’s to devour 3 hot dogs, bring some Tums and enjoy. I highly recommend it.

Cheers

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The U.S. Open

Posted on September 14, 2015 by nyweenies

If you’ve never been to the US Open, start planning right now to go next year. It is worth taking off work for, it is worth getting in a really serious fight with your significant other for, and it is worth lying on your resume for. It is totally 1%, yet not pretentious. It is quiet and relaxing, yet entertaining and engaging. I honestly don’t know how they make this event work so well, but it’s real. Food and drink is at every turn in all sorts of different varieties, there is high potential for celebrity sightings, and most importantly, there are weenies. In fact, a whole portion of the food area is dedicated to hot dogs. “Franks and Fries” was one of the most alluring hot dog options I have ever been around, simply because of the environment. However, I must lose any bias based on the event, temper my actions with wisdom, and review the frankfurter only… and stop thinking about Roger Federer’s calves.

(Linen is in…en?)

It’s a foot long chili dog. The “Coney Island Footlong Frank”. Y’all know I love my chili dogs, and y’all know I like ’em big and fat, and y’all know I was excited for this bad boy. Y’all know. For the record, this is the biggest hot dog I think I’ve ever eaten. There’s something about stadium dogs. If you remember my Yankee Stadium review, it was massive too, but this one was bigger. I applied the mustard myself and it was yellow (y’all know). The first bite was great – very beefy, a whole mess, and incredibly aggressive. For any WWE fans out there, this hot dog reminded me of Ryback. It’s just an over-the-top experience. Or, maybe I’m speaking of the WWE in general. Regardless, there’s a whole lot of hot dog here and if you have any doubt that you can handle it, step away immediately. But, if you can, feed me more.

To get technical, the bun is toasted quite well, and the chili a little mild, but true hot dog chili, that compliments the whole package with grace. My only gripe was that the weenie might have been boiled. You’d think that after so many years of devouring wieners that I would have a refined pallet and be able to identify these things – like a weenie sommelier. I do think I’m pretty refined, but this one was a complete brain buster. Something was off with the way it was cooked, and it felt a little too mass produced for my liking. There wasn’t a whole lot of soul in the sausage. My great grandma was a big proponent of putting soul in sausages, so that’s a pretty significant demerit to this one. Overall, a very good hot dog, but nothing to sell your soul for. Y’all know.

3 weenies.

P.S. The fact that Roger Federer lost is deeply saddening. He is truly the greatest tennis player of all time and it would have been awesome to see him win the Open this late in his career. Novak Djokovic is sponsored by Uni Qlo. Enough said. RF 4 lyfe.

Cheers

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Special Edition: Labor Day

Posted on September 7, 2015 by nyweenies

It’s Labor Day. This means that on Monday we don’t go to work. Let’s be honest, nobody else knows anything more about Labor Day except for your 10^th Grade History teacher. Not even your 4^th Grade History teacher knows why we have it (sorry, Mrs. Howard). Anyways, without work, what do we, as Americans, do? That’s right! We act as American as possible. What is being as American as possible, oh NY Weenie man? Here are some words to describe what every person should be doing on a Monday get-out-of-work-for-free-American-holiday: outside, sun, beer, family, sports, anthems, red, white, blue, hot dogs, chili, baseball, Washington DC, Nationals game. So, I spent my Labor Day watching cricket over some tea. NAY! I went to the Nats game, in DC, with my folks, and ate one of the most famous hot dogs of all time from Ben’s Chili Bowl. God Bless America.

Usually I first write about the place, the experience, etc. This time I want to get right on in to the part about the hot dog. Ben’s Chili Bowl was visited by Obama in 2009. Bill Cosby, although he may not be so popular anymore, has been known to frequent Ben’s, and has outwardly stated that it is his favorite place to eat. Ben’s has a rep, and is one of those places you’ll see on the travel channel one day. It has become so popular that it has a location inside Nationals Park. While obviously I’d rather visit the original, it’s pretty far away and I had a train to catch. Plus, it’s pretty awesome eating a hot dog at a baseball field. Plus, I didn’t want my family to risk running into Bill Cosby…

I got the half-smoke. What is a half-smoke? It’s a big ass hot dog blended with a little pork sausage, essentially. There is definitely some different flavor to it, but it isn’t enough to take it out of the hot dog category for me. This bad boy is plump. Covered in chili, mustard, and onions, it is a mouthful and a hot mess. The first bite was super juicy, spicy, and delicious. There was chili everywhere. I looked like Ralphie’s little brother Randy from a Christmas Story. Now, I’ve always been a huge proponent of the chili dog. Raised to love the chili dog, this moment brought it all full circle for me, because I even got to enjoy it with the very person who raised me this way. Remember back when I reviewed the Yankee Stadium dog? I said I wanted to hand down the weenie throne and educate a young boy about the sausage. This was that moment, y’all. The plateau of hot dog education was occurring. Today, I earned my PhD in the weenie.

Look at the focus on those ol’ boys.

I don’t want to go too far and give this dog a serious rating because I don’t want to lose sight of my mission. This hot dog is not served in New York, so please know that it will not be considered in the race for the golden weenie. I will, however, say that it deserves 4 weenies. Get it. It is worth going out of your way for if you are in DC.

So, what else happened at the game? The Nats lost a crucial game to the Mets, 8-5, but I saw a grand slam, got some discounted Heinekens, went to the bathroom three times, and even got my picture taken with William H. Taft, the 27^th President of the United States. Why did I pick Taft? Well, he was also a Chief Justice, the inventor of the seventh inning stretch, rocked a sweet moustache, and more importantly, got stuck in a bathtub one time. My hat goes off to you Mr. Taft; I can only hope to one day be as gracefully gluttonous as you.

Hardcore weenie reviewing resumes next week. Stay tuned.

Cheers

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Épicerie Boulud

Posted on August 31, 2015 by nyweenies

NY Weenies is not only entertaining, it is educational. Read on and you may discover new words, new ideas, or even yourself. This was my most interesting and most unique review yet. The reason for this is I went alone. Usually I have a companion for the journey, but this time I found myself in a situation where I had no friends. (Not that I don’t have friends, they were just unavailable at the time. That’s what they said, like… Jimmy had a thing, and Sandy had to watch her dog… and Bob, well, he was just “busy.”) So, little old me just meandered up 9th avenue in search of a weenie by myself. This is when I realized that writing about hot dogs is not some sort of game, or joke. Hot dogs are a passion. I now know that I can do this for as long as it takes – because I love it. Today, I discovered myself. I discovered that I… am a hot dog blogger.

Pictured above is the DBGB dog. Now that is a good lookin’ weenie. DBGB is also the name of one of chef Daniel Boulud’s restaurants. This Boulud dude is a legend. He has a bar and a Mediterranean restaurant and something else, all named after him, directly next to Epicerie, which is directly next to the beautiful Lincoln Center on 63rd and Columbus. Epicerie means grocery, by the way. If you’re ever bored, type it into google and listen to the lady’s voice pronounce it. It’s way more entertaining than I would have predicted. So, here I am at the french grocery store apparently, looking at an opera performance across the street about to consume an 8 dollar hot dog. Not a bad situation to be in. The restaurant itself doesn’t have any tables, and it seems to be catered towards takeout, but fancy takeout. There is a nice little bar area where you can grab oysters and have wine, but lets be real, ain’t nobody got time for that.

Unfortunately since I was alone I don’t have the classic NY Weenies first bite pic, but trust me, I bit. This is a really unique dog. The sauce covering it is kind of like a spicier, kethup-ier hollandaise. It’s really good. There’s also a nice refreshing slaw on the side that I just adore. The bun is well prepared. If I had to compare the bun to a person, it would be Britney Spears – hot and toasty, but kind of flaky with a tendency to fall apart. Again, a very unique bun. The frank itself is super juicy and fat, definitely all beef, and delicious. It doesn’t have that snap that I like so much, but the flavor is pretty ornate.If you put that one in google, a guy says the word, and it sounds like he’s got a stuffy nose. Also very entertaining.

The moral of the story is the dog is very good, but it’s almost a little too weird. I feel like they tried too hard. Again, I’m thinking about Britney Spears for some reason. It could have been a little more real, sloppy, uncut, raw, etc. Don’t be that kid in class that’s always asking questions and reminding the teacher that she didn’t collect the homework. That’s kind of how I felt about this weenie. Nice kid, though. Also since I was alone, I wasn’t distracted at all, and I wasn’t drinking, so you can definitely take this review seriously. Sacré bleu!

3.5 weenies.

Cheers

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Rosamunde Sausage Grill

Posted on August 24, 2015 by nyweenies

Where Brooklyn at?!?! That’s right, folks. The hills are alive with the sausages of Brooklyn. Quite honestly I went into this review with very few expectations. I had no idea what I was getting into, and all I really knew was that sausages and beer were a featured partnership in this establishment. Nothing else has to be said. I can’t think of anything else I’d rather do. So, without further delay I put on my most ironic outfit, tightest pants, and glasses that are absolutely unnecessary for my vision and hopped on the L train. What a scene.

24 beers on tap. 20 different sausages. In the heart of Williamsburg, Rosamunde not only offers a variety of high quality weenies and libations, it also exudes a great vibe. It certainly embodies classic Brooklyn stereotypes, but they are the good stereotypes and they are subtle. For example, they have two TV’s, each playing a different movie the entire time we were inside. One TV had Sammy Davis Jr. and Tony Bennett twirling cute little umbrellas and hanging from windows. The other featured a bloody, murderous Chinese man smiling and playing a ukulele. Similar, I suppose. The beer selection was as crafty as it gets, and super high quality. These beers were all top of the line and rare. I ordered a La Fin du Monde by Unibroue. What an incredible beer. It is 9 percent alcohol and has this golden caramel hue that has previously only been seen in Twix commercials. Find this beer now and consume it. I don’t care what you’re doing, it will be worth it. Driving? In church? Having a baby? Stop and drink this beer. It will be worth it.

I digress, my apologies, this is a hot dog blog. The best sausage was said to be the cheddar brat. I ordered it with chili and onions, then added some spicy brown mustard at the condiment stand. No yellow was available. I don’t know what it is about New York, but people really don’t appreciate yellow mustard as much as they should. This was the best looking weenie I’ve reviewed yet. Literally, this was the juiciest sausage that has ever juiced. The bun was this massive powdery floury thing that I was very unfamiliar with at first but eventually came to love. Kind of like SSBD’s. (Short sleeved button downs).

Oh my. Ohhhhh my. That’s a sausage. I enjoyed that.

NY Weenians, let me tell you, this cheddar brat was incredible. Juicy, flavorful, beautifully cooked, great chili, sweet onions, floury bun, infused with cheddar cheese, etc. etc. The list goes on and I will honestly say that this was the best sausage I have reviewed yet. But that is the problem. It was a sausage. This was technically not a hot dog. I can’t, as a hot dog fan and as an American, lie to the people and even give this a rating. I’m sorry to all that I’ve disappointed, but I can’t, “I just can’t even.”

0 weenies.

However, I am not lying when I say I loved Rosamunde. I will absolutely be back and it will be incredible again. Go there if you have any sense of decency. Whatever you’re doing, stop, and go there. It will be worth it. Mowing grass? Riding a pony? Watching the WWE? Stop at Rosamunde. It will be worth it.

Cheers

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