The unexpected is never expected. Some of life’s best, worst, and certainly most impactful moments are unexpected. Unexpected can be happy, or it can be sad, but at the end of the day without unexpected moments life would be boring and crappy. This would mean no lottery winners, no news, no pearl harbor, no Lenny Kravitz ding-a-lings, no Janet Jackson nipple rings, and worst of all, no impromptu hot dog reviews. A google search of “where to eat hot dogs on the upper west side” took us to “Big Nick’s Burger Joint and Pizza Joint Too”, featuring “Giant Hot Dogs.” “Let’s go”, I declared.
Oh Big Nick, what big weenies you have! Look at all of those giant hot dogs. Walking into this place nobody in their right mind would imagine they would have a hot dog selection on their menu such as this. You can even make it deluxe, like it is some sort of a cheeseburger. I asked what their best dog was, as per usual, and the response was, “with cheese.” Obviously adding chili is never a bad option, so the cheese and chili melt was the obvious choice for this old boy. The environment here was very old school, local, and rooted in tradition. This would be a great late night stop in for a college student, but also a perfect early lunch spot for a retiree. There is nothing impressive, but I feel at home. Remember Grandma’s house growing up? It was kind of old, run down, and filled with a bunch of unnecessary things, but you liked it because Grandma cooked for you and let you stay up late? This is how I felt at Big Nick’s.
There is the dog itself. The Giant Hot Dog Melt. This is certainly a fat boy. At first glance, it reminds me of the quarter pound big bit at 7-11. A classic growing up for me, I began to feel even more at home. Unfortunately I didn’t see any French’s yellow mustard around, so I chose not to apply any mustard at all and eat as is. This is rare, but I felt it acceptable to allow the cheese to do some talking. Speak up, cheese! I’d like to take a moment and really let the cheese on this dog sink in – melt in your mind. Look at it. The cheese on this dog is a Kraft single. What?! At first, I though this was one of the most poor displays of culinary artistry I had ever seen. But no, the unexpected is never expected. The slice of cheese underneath the dog was the best part of the whole thing. I highly recommend it. It makes sense for Big Nick’s, too. They are a burger place first. Why not take some of the burger cheese and slap it on a dog? Epic creativity.
Now, I can’t make them sound too great because the dog itself was kind of dry, especially for being so fat, and the bun wasn’t hot, but was still somehow toasted. Furthermore, I got it deluxe simply because it sounded interesting, and the dog came with a big leaf of lettuce and two tomatoes on the side, like I was a rabbit. It made no sense. Stop it Big Nick. Don’t do that again. The chili wasn’t the best either, it lacked any sort of spice and started to look fecal after sitting in the open air for a few minutes. My personal goal in life is to avoid looking fecal at all costs.
The Kraft single underneath the hot dog was revolutionary, creative, and downright titillating. However, it wasn’t a complete package. It’s a pretty decent spot overall, but if you don’t make it there, it would be expected.
P.S. Is this a good new name? “Big Nick’s Burger Joint and Pizza Joint and Hot Dog Joint Also.” I’d consider it. Give the people what they want.
P.P.S. I have a map now! Check out where I’ve eaten all my weenies geography style: Map on BobbyPin