Sometimes, after looking at a bunch of Picasso sculptures, you get a hankering for a weenie. It happens to me all of the time. For example, on Sunday, the cubism really got to me and I just had a craving for a fat juicy sausage. I was very much a tourist that day. After cruising around in the MoMa, I dilly-dallied on over to Rockefeller Center and watched some guys try way too hard to impress their dates by trying to ice skate. I was feeling way too cute and traditional. Then, like the star of Bethlehem, Bill’s Bar and Burger appeared on the horizon. Today, for this young man, it would be Bill’s Bar and Hot Dog.
There were 4 dogs on the menu. New York, Chili Cheese, Chicago, and Corn Dogs were the options. I asked the young gentle-dude what the best weenie was, and got a literal LOL reply, “I like them plain with ketchup.” I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: the only time it is OK to eat a ketchup hot dog is if you’re under 12. So, I may have to contact a lawyer and see about Bill’s Bar and Burger’s child labor situation. I then had to press the waiter and rephrase by asking for the most popular weenie, since his judgment was so terrible. I ended up with the Chicago Dog. I was very pleased with this, as it had been a while since I had one. The last I remember was Frankie’s On the Go back in July, and it was pretty underwhelming. A Chicago Dog is typically mustard, onions, tomatoes, pickles, and peppers. It’s like a little salad on a dog. I’m not a salad guy (who would have guessed, a guy who writes about hot dogs doesn’t like salads), but I love a good Chicago dog. Upon receipt of the sausage, the first thing I noticed was the bun. Big dog in a little bun. (Sung to the tune of “fat guy in a little coat”). The hot dog isn’t even that big! Honey, I shrunk your bun.
The little bun wasn’t too big of a problem, though. The picture above highlights the best part of Bill’s Bar and Burger’s weenie: the actual sausage. It’s a Hatfield’s all beef bad boy. I highly recommend. They probably could have cooked it a little more, but this was like a Maserati among Hyundais. An albatross among finches. Well done Hatfield’s. The pickle was sliced, which is against my preference, but the mustard was classic French’s yellow and it made me feel alive again. The peppers had a nice spice to them, but maybe were a little too much, or too acidic. Lord knows I have heartburn problems already, I certainly don’t need more of that. In all honesty I really enjoyed the hot dog itself. Plus, at Bill’s, you can order a “Cold Ass Beer”. It is literally the brand of a beer. I don’t care who you are, that’s fun.
I’d like you all to leave this review thinking that you should go to Bill’s Bar and Burger. It is definitely a great place to grab a simple meal. Plus, it’s in the Rockefeller Center, so when your parents come in and want to see the tree, you can drag them in to get a burger or a weenie and not even feel bad about it. Then, you can watch a bunch of people fall in the ice skating rink. Then, you can go see the Rockettes. Is it Christmas yet? Smart marketing, Bill’s. Smart.